Dealing with theft needs a different approach when a son is the culprit

In a few years, if your son is helping you to run the business, you will look back on the incident as a minor blip and be grateful that you didn’t behave like an unbending boss but kept your cool and acted as a firm but friendly father.

Q I’ve been asked out to lunch by the sales manager of a prospective supplier. I have no intention of buying from the guy but he’s taking me to The Ivy, which I’ve failed to get into on numerous occasions. Is it very deceitful to go for the grub, knowing I don’t want his business?

A It is wrong to accept any form of business entertainment when you haven’t any intention of repaying your host’s generosity. I wouldn’t go to restaurants, rugby internationals or The Ryder Cup as a guest of someone who has no chance of being a supplier and I only go to a charitable function if I am going to give the charity a worthwhile donation.

This principle may mean that you miss some amazing occasions but can often spare you from plenty of tedious nights out when you would have much more excitement at home watching television.

I can’t see any fun in sharing a table for two, even at The Ivy, with an eager salesman, when you don’t want to be a customer.

Be honest and refuse his hospitality. If you like his company you could keep the booking and go Dutch but, if you really want to enjoy the food and atmosphere, book a table months in advance and treat your wife as a special anniversary present.

Q A good friend has just poached a member of staff from my executive team. I’m getting married in a few weeks and I’m tempted to uninvite him for his treachery. What do you think?

A Don’t be childish. Even if your friend has behaved badly, banning him from your wedding brings you down to his level.

Instead of considering revenge, work out why such a key performer decided to leave. It is rarely just a pay package that tempts people away. Could you have done more to show your appreciation by bonuses or “well done” gestures? Was he given enough responsibility? Should he have been promoted or was there friction between him and other colleagues? The answers to these questions won’t bring him back to the fold but they could help you to run a better business.

As far as the wedding is concerned, encourage your friend to come but you could make sure, when you send him a wedding list, it only includes pricey presents.

Q Is it worthwhile fighting to keep staff when they’ve got a great new position lined up? I’m about to lose a manager and I could put up his wages and give him more responsibility but I’m worried that he’s already mentally checked out. Is it better to let him go?

A No one is indispensable. Let him go and concentrate on picking a superstar to succeed him. Your job is to manage what happens next. Don’t waste time worrying about what might have been.

You probably planned a vital role for the manager, who now wants to find his happiness elsewhere, but any efforts to persuade him to stay will most probably fail to succeed. For whatever reason, he’s decided it is time to move on, so simply wish him well and accept that you, also, should move on and look to the future.

If you make the right new appointment it won’t be long before most of your colleagues will have forgotten this key manager was ever part of the team and you will wonder what you were worrying about.

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